Dear Dotty,

I have this real big problem on my hand. A 6'3 tall of a problem. His name shall be withheld to avoid embarrassment on his part. Actually, he has done a good job of embarrassing himself all on his own...he just doesn't know it. He shows up at the most random/inconvenient times. He gives really uncomfortable hugs and even more awkward massages. He asks girls out on dates at least three times a day and he always catches them off guard...that way they can't say no. He wears mini scarves, awfully tight pants and v-neck shirts. He just tries so hard...too hard. He reminds me of a lion going after his prey. He goes after anything that has boobs and is breathing. Luckily, I've managed to escape...for now. My dilemma is this: How do I avoid him without being a total hag? Also...why is that only the creepers come after me? I'm a pretty cool lady, yet all I get are the crazies.
Sincerely,
The Hunted

First of all. V-neck shirts have been the most epically tragic thing to happen to the male persuasion. However, they are to be followed by tight pants. Why do they think that if they wear women's clothing that women will be attracted to them. If I can't even fit into your pants, then why would I want to date you. I should be the dainty one in the relationship. To address the first question. Sometimes you can't be nice. Sometimes you have to go straight for the groin. It hurts...well for him at least. I could say something cliche right here like... "in the long run, he will appreciate it." Let's be honest though...he sounds like a woman. He will probably go home and cry his big metrosexual head on his tiny woman pillow. BUT, eventually his tears will dry and the first lady that walks by will catch his interest and then you will be off the hook. So don't let him even enter your thoughts. That's how dudes want it...they want us to think about them and then they can pounce on the poor helpless gazelles. We're the gazelles by the way. I tried to think of a dainty animal, but thats what first popped in my head. Well actually, wart hog popped in my head, but I'm not going there. As for your second question... that is almost impossible to answer. My first guess, is that you're just too nice. It is time to dig down deep and get some guts. We see the weirdies sitting all by themselves and we feel sorry for them. We can't help it. Well it is time to practice self control. Put your foot down. This isn't me telling you to be a complete hag face, but just be assertive.
Dotty