Dear Dotty,

Oh.My.Gosh. I am at a complete loss for words. I recently started working at a new job. It has been pretty good so far. I love to meet people, so it has been nice in that aspect. However, I met a boy there. He is nice. He started talking to me. I figured it was him trying to be friendly. I like having friends, so I talked back. He invited me over one night for dinner. Me (being a dumb girl) kind of assumed it was just one of those "hang out" situations. Well...false. Over the course of the night it became a date. Home girl say what? Yeah. A date. I thought it was just going to be dinner, but then he bounced us around from activity to activity. What I thought would last two hours max, turned into four. The thing is, I don't feel that way about him...at all. I'm pretty sure he feels that way about me though. So what is a girl to do? Well obviously I don't want to lead him on. He invited me over the next night, but I was "busy". The guy just wouldn't give up. He kept pushing for me to come... and I kept standing firm in my resolve to not go. Then he did the unthinkable. He went "there". He committed a major party foul. He sent me a text message with lyrics to a love song in them. Yep. True story. So how did I react? Well first of all, I was thoroughly creeped out. I didn't even respond. I couldn't bring myself to do it. Not only has he ruined a perfectly cute, adorable and nice love song, but he has made me feel weird and awkward. So what do I do now? We work together. I don't want to see him or talk to him because I'm afraid I will somehow give him false hope. I can't just be rude to his face. How do I handle that?

I...just died. My heart literally stopped. Mostly because my ticker couldn't handle the hilariousness of your situation. Admit it... this is pretty funny. You know what would have made it better? If he had actually recorded himself singing it and then sent it to you. Then it could be at least a semi-serenade. Seriously, boys are sooooooo dumb. They don't understand anything at all. In fact, I can guarantee that the reason there are married/dating/engaged men is because the chick had to plan everything out step by step. We're smart about it. We put it all together, but let them think they were the ones to do it. In reality, if it weren't for us they would be lost. They would be chillin' on their blow up chairs, watching reruns of Jerry Springer and balancing bowls of chips on their stomachs. Every once in awhile you have a rebel. One who likes to go outside of the social norm. The free thinker. That is what we have in your case. He thought he would be "cute" and send you a flirty/love declaring message. He'd be wrong. Instead, he sent a giant flashing neon sign as to why there is no way in "H" you would date him. Okay, I know I'm being overly harsh. Boys aren't really that bad blah blah blah. But seriously, this was kind of an awful move. He managed to not only A) make you stear clear of his direction but he also B) probably ruined a perfectly decent song for you. One time Bobby Crandall wrote me a note with the lyrics to "You Light Up My Life" in them in an attempt to woo me. Never. I'm a pretty forgiving person, but even that was too much to handle. You've got to keep doing what you're doing...and then a little more. If he invites you to do something (especially just the two of you), then you have plans... even if they are made up. Make sure to drop the "F" word... No, not that one. The other one... friend. Pull it out every chance you have. "Why hello friend", "Hey, friend", "You're such a good friend", "I'm glad I have a friend like you that I have no desire to date, kiss or procreate with"... you know. Just subtle messages like those. If he keeps pursuing, then eventually you will have to meet the problem head on. Just tell him you don't like him like that and then continue on your merry way. It may be awkard, but odds are high that he will get over it. Plus, it is only awkward if you make it that way. So good luck. Stand firm. Word.

Dotty,
p.s. you never said what song he actually sent you. So I'm going to let my imagination run wild and say it was Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On". The only thing more tragic than that song is the movie "Titanic"... I would have wanted that ship to sink if they were playing that song over the loud speaker.