Dotty,

I think I kind of like this boy. It is still a new development, so I'm not positive. You see... there are a couple things about him that seem a little iffy. I haven't met a boy I might like in quite awhile, so I don't know if I should just overlook those hang ups of his. He curses like a sailor, makes inappropriate comments, has fascination with Hello Kitty and talks about girls like they are items at a buffet. It has always bugged me when people swear like it is no big deal. That dumb cat has always scared me and when dudes talk about girls they just sound desparate. I'm not sure if I'm overreacting or if I really should be concerned. Maybe I'm just picky... I mean everyone has their quirks, right? Basically, I want to know if I should pursue this or just move on. I need your wisdom, Dotty.

Too Picky

Listen, Picky. You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your friends nose. I know... that doesn't make sense yet, but it will. I've always been told to trust your gut instinct. The fact that A) You even wrote me and B) you used words like "kind of", "I think", "maybe" and "not positive" should be good indications that you aren't catching what Kitty is throwing. Personally, I don't even see why you wrote me. The Hello Kitty thing should have been your first giant, flashing, neon sign. Grown men should not like kitties. Grown men should not like cartoons about kitties. Grown men shouldn't like cartoons. Does he not realize that his "manhood points" just went down greatly. In fact, what little points he did have are now nonexistent. Actually, they are in the negatives. He just totally hosed himself. If that didn't completely shoot his chances to the ground then the constant talk of ladies really screwed him over. One way to NOT impress a girl is to talk about other girls. Especially since the girls dudes choose to talk about are 5'7, big chested, super model blondes with designer clothes and little puppies in their purses. Wow... if that is the case then someone might as well kick me in the ovaries because I ain't got a chance. I can maybe reach 5'5 if I wear heels, I get my clothes off the clearance rack, I hate dogs and I won't even touch the big chest part. Lets just say that without padded bras I would resemble a young boy. Honestly though... this guy makes me feel ill. He sounds awkward, obnoxious, desperate and disrespectful. Do you really want to hang out with someone like that let alone kiss him? Especially since he probably would put on Hello Kitty fruity tutti chap stick to prep for kissing you. Really? You want that? I think not. Don't feel embarrassed. We all make mistakes at times. It is what keeps us humble. Sometimes we like boys we definitely shouldn't. If it makes you feel better I could tell you about my short love for the man who ran the ferris wheel at the carnival. Yep, I fell in love with a carnie. Don't judge me. I was young and his gummy smile was very intriguing. So... drop this dude and move on.

Dotty

P.S. I forgot to address the nose picking comment. Basically... I just wanted to say it. The part I wanted you to focus on was the picking your friends part. You have the choice to hang out with you want to hang out with. So... the only reason you would keep being around this guy is if you chose to do it. I also think you should avoid picking anyones nose, but that is just a side note. The End.